As much as I’d like to ignore this matter, it’s buzzing on social media and truly- I’m sick of it. Men are accusing single women of ignoring their direct messages on social media.
First of all, I want to build my line of argument on the fact that DMs are new inventions in the digital age. They didn’t exist in the time of the boomers and yet, many of them married because marriage was a valued institution- not a business partnership, or worse still, a charade that it has become today.
Two people meet, fall in love or hope to and decide to be married. Sometimes, their friends, family or colleagues resort to matchmaking to help two kind people meet and build a family. Some friends blossom into lovers and later marry. Some long distance relationships have survived and ended as marriages. My point is: marriage has long existed before DMs were created. So, DMs are not the only way to get to meet someone.
Sadly, our world is governed by electronic devices and people would rather chat or call on instant messaging apps than communicate face-to-face. Nothing beats this old form of communication in getting to know the real person. You can have the luxury of watching emotions and real life interactions with other people. But then, we live busy lives and farther apart in different cities of the world. And there’s no law prohibiting two adults from falling in love across borders except human barriers and cultural biases. This is why dating apps and other direct messaging apps have become the popular means of dating.
What many men fail to acknowledge is that single women are targeted on the apps for romance scams. In fact, 9 out of 10 DMs are seeking to exploit a woman or even kidnap her. Hence, if you are really keen on meeting a woman, go through her list of friends and check if you have mutual friends. If none exists, you may want to cultivate one and get to know her through this person. This is a better way of letting your intentions known to a lady than to expect her to read through thousands of DMs which, for the most part, full of unsolicited, raunchy messages.
Truth be told: the devil lives in the DMs of many women. You have a potential stalker who pretends to be genuinely interested in a love relationship. If I am to give a piece of advice to any lady based on my DM experience, I would say: ignore by all means. And if your instinct tells you to let down your guard, then arrange a meeting at a venue you choose and go with one of your trusted friends, relatives or mentors.
Some DMs are torturous. They have insults, curses and the likes just because you have not had time to check in a while. Are these the kind of men you’d truly want your daughter to be with for the rest of their lives? Please. Let’s be guided about the DM crusade because it is the devil’s tool in today’s world to lure women into inappropriate relationships.
You want to impress me? Write a letter. Yes, good old letter. And if it works out, we get to read it at every anniversary and our children will read it and keep it as an archival material even when we are gone. But let’s give this DM crusade some rest and be more creative in the way we approach high-value women.
